Wintervil is HEEEEEERREEE! Ho Ho Ho!

Sorry for the Hio Hiatus /giggle.
I've been sooooooo busy as of late. Between running all over Azeroth for Pilgrims Bounty, Helping Gal get her alchemy and Inscription up, and tanking and healing everything, I've been remiss in keeping you updated.
Well the buck stops here! I'll be working on some more updates and you'll probably hear more from other contributors as well. I think PdP wants to tell you about the Brew of the Month Club. Gal's got some big news. Pnutbutter has some fabulous new friends, and I've been super busy. So stay tuned.
On a sad note, I'd like to take this time to remember Ennyo. She was a caring Draenei warrior who left us far too early. She was in her 75th season, spending most of her time with Iowyn and Roflmeow. She seems to have fallen off the face of Azeroth. She's been my friend for years, and it truly saddens me to have to say Goodbye. I've known her since creation, and I think she was more misunderstood than "grumpy". Needless to say, PdP is not taking the news well. She is putting on her brave face, but remember that she's lost a sister. Fare thee well Ennyo, may Elune watch over you.
<3 Hio

More Breaking News: Pnutbutter is a proven Face melter!

Hi Internet.
Let me tell you...I love PvP. I've picked up tailoring and Engineering just so I can do more PvP stuff. I even have both my trinket slots filled at level 20! Hio couldn't believe it when I told her that, she didn't get her first trinket until she was 45.
I've leveled from 10 to 20 doing mostly PvP in Warsong Gulch.
I have been eating Tauren Souls like they are candy. Nom nom nom. Sooo tastey, by far the most delicious. Druids are sweet and juicy. And all that hair! when I immolate.../drool. Smells soo good (don't tell Hio).
BloodElf soul tastes kinda light and airy. They are definitely the least filling. I prefer the Warlocks because their soul just tastes like what they last ate. (/whisper Don't tell anyone, but Gnome Souls taste like chocolate covered raisins. It makes me wish I was Horde sometimes, please please please don't tell PdP I said that) and the Paladins give me indigestion.
Orc souls taste kind of nutty. I think I like the taste of their Warrior souls the most. At first they were kind of bitter, like the after-taste from almonds or walnuts, but they get better as you have more of them. I usually like to follow the warriors up with a nice Orc rogue soul to accompany it. Orc rogues taste like cashews. Yum.
Trolls...They have kind of a fishy taste. Ennyo rofl'd at that when I told her and said "I'm not surprised". Hunters are my preference, I think because their pets add a bit of a fruitiness; its a nice balance. Rogues aren't that bad either, but I mostly eat the hunters. The Shaman give me gas, which can be a little embarrassing sometimes.
Undead. Blech. At first I could barely stomach the taste of undead souls, but its not bad if I wash it down right away with some melon juice. All the classes of undead taste the same in my humble opinion. I probably prefer the priests, though they are hardest to catch. Undead Priest souls have a pickled dirt taste, as opposed to a regular dirt taste. With Undead mages, I'm just like "Get in mah bellay!" and they usually do. I once ate the same mage 6 times in one WSG match, I ended up coughing up a woolly hairball. Silly mage.
I love PvP!
Oh, and I got a horse and a Succubus just for turning 20. I've been having a fun couple of weeks.
I'm especially enjoying all the Trick or Treating. All the inn keepers think my voidwalker is just a friend in a costume. I don't tell them the truth, because I seem to get more candy this way. And of course Succubus is a big hit with all the male innkeepers. Dirty men, sheesh. I once made the mistake of bringing Jaknam, my imp, trick or treating. The lady was like "I don't think your friend needs any more candy, he seems to be a little hyper already". /giggle. Jak was sooooo mad. He started conjuring a HUGE firebolt, I had to tackle him before he could cast it. I wish you should have seen that lady's eyes. They got as big as pumpkins, I thought they were going to pop out of her head.
/giggle.
I've only fought in WSG so far. I want enough marks to get one of each of the black war mounts. No complaints here.
Anyway, thanks for listening. Sear you later :-)
/gigglesnort (That was a pun on see you later, in case you didn't get it)

HOLY HEADLESS HORSEMAN'S HORSE IS NOW HIORDIS'S HORSE!

Its True!
Last night I got the Headless Horseman's mount. Yay for Hallow's End!
More to Follow :-)
<3 Hio

Pnutbutter turns 10!

Umm. Hi.
I'm Penelope. My family and friend(s) call me Pnutbutter. I'm a Human Warlock, I grew up in a small town called Darkshire. There weren't a lot of other kids for me to hang around with, so I mostly played with the ghosts that haunted our house. I think thats why I became a Warlock. I also really like the taste of souls (they taste like grape jelly) and I enjoy the smell of sulphur and burnt hair. Some people find that weird.
I don't really have a lot of friends, I'm kind of shy. Yes, you could say I'm a bit of a loner. I have an imp that I spend most of my time with. I can't even say his name properly, but he is awesome. He loves me, and I take care of him as best I can. Last night I finally succeeded in summoning a blue marshmallowy demon called a Voidwalker. I think he is going to be cool too. Last night I was adventuring with my guildie and friend named Kidsister. She's a priest, so you think she wouldn't want to hang out with me, right? But she's not like that, she doesn't judge me, she's cool for a priest.
I wouldn't say I got teased a lot growing up, but I wasn't really the popular girl either. I once got in trouble when I set another girl's hair on fire. Like a lot of trouble. But omg it smelled so good, I want to do it again.
I got a letter from some Sentinels in Darnassus, asking for help in taking back Warsong Gulch from the Horde. I'm really looking forward to it. Think what a burning Tauren is going to smell like! All that hair! /giddy. Hio and PauladaPally chipped in and got me a really pretty robe and shoulders, and a staff and trinket, so I'll be ready to go into battle when the time comes. They said it would make me more resilient. Hio is really sweet and really helpful. I kind of think she made PauladaPally help me, cause she wasn't very friendly at first. But it was explained that Paladins aren't really allowed to be too friendly towards Warlocks. Hio also told me that PauladaPally's family was slain by the Burning Legion. I tried to explain that not all demons are like that, but she just gave me a look. It wasn't mean at all, so I understood that its just a bit of a sore spot with PauladaPally. It's something I'll keep in mind when I'm sharding Hordies. Mmmm I can almost taste it now. Ennyo told me that Troll tastes the best, but she had a weird smile on her face when she said it. And she's not a Warlock, so how would she know? I have a hunch that Ennyo's a bit of a slut, but I didn't want to tell that to Hio.
Iowyn spent a lot of time in Warsong Gulch, so she told me some good places to hide, and where to look for the flag. Apparently its always on the roof or behind the graveyard. I really like Iowyn, she seems nice, and a bit of a loner too. She has some wicked pets. She showed me her gigantic wasp, and wolf she stole from some Orcs in Hellfire Peninsula. Her cat seemed nice, but all she wanted was for her belly to be rubbed. I tried to scratch my Imp's belly, and he went nuts, jumping all over the place and giggling. I don't understand it, but there is something to belly rubs. Iowyn told me lots about Hellfire, I'm pretty excited to get there. Thats going to be a while. In the mean time, I'm excited to fight the Horde.
Umm. Bye.
/wave

Brewfest Recap

Brewfest has come and gone. Fun and Wolpertingers were had by all, I especially enjoyed this years festivities. I was happy to receive a Brewfest Ram from Coren Direbrew, While PdP got hersef a smelly new Kodo. Phew, I thought Elleks smell bad. But Congratulations go to her, and for her brand new "Tankard of Terror". She says its an upgrade over her old sword, and she only uses it because it smashes faces in farther. I don't know about that, because it seems to me like that thing is half full about half the time now, and there might be more reasons why she uses that Gigantic mug than just to smash faces. That Pally really got into this year's Brewfest. I got some trinkets, including a pickled egg and a stein that summons a barmaiden that gives away beer. How Awesome is that?! Apparently lots of people got these, but I don't care, I'm a better bear and a stronger tree because of them.
I love my new Wolpertinger pet, almost the whole crew caught one of their own. They are so cute and I love the way they squeak when you pet them. I have to remember to put mine away before I shift into Cat form, because for those who don't know, Wolpertingers taste great. Sorry Ennyo :-( I feel so bad, I promise to catch you one next Brewfest. (Turns out the taste of Wolpertinger doesn't linger at all, but the guilt sure does).
I also got a pink ellek pet! It was just roaming around Teldrassil, and it followed me home. Sneaky little guy (It may have had something to do with the can of peanuts in my pocket /giggle) was smooth, I didn't even notice him crawl into my bags. Mind you, there is a lot I don't remember from that night, but I KNOW I didn't get leg humped by some creepy gnome on the Deeprun. Bwa ha ha ha. I'm still not sure PdP knows what happened, so lets leave it that way.
Both PdP and I signed up for the Brew of the Month club. Turns out that Beer in the Mail tastes Grrreeeat! Who knew? (PdP knew, she wouldn't stop talking about how much she loooooves beer. oy!) I've got some coins saved up for next Brewfest (I have my eye on a fun little outfit that will drive a certain DeathKnight wild. I haven't told you about him yet. But let me say...YUM) and I think next year I might work on getting myself my own smelly Kodo just to keep my mammoth company in the stables (and to shut a certain Pally up).
Thats about it for now. I've got other news (Congratulations to Gal!) but I don't want to spoil it so I'll keep this recap short. TTYL.

<3 Hio

Day in the life of a Sneak: Rowgue's diary

Dear Diary,

Here is how my day went today.
5:30 AM - Snuck over to Fandral Staghelm's tree. I stole his newspaper. I hate that guy

5:35 AM - I saw a light on. Sentinel Starbreeze was getting ready for duty. I snuck up to her window and saw that she totally stuffs her breastplate. HA! what a newb. I'm soo telling Gal.

5:45 AM - I took the early boat from Ruutheran to Stormwind

8:00 AM - I fell asleep in the cabin. Apparently I went back and forth on the same sailing like a million times. I woke up to the smell of Ellek poo. Big Draeneii Shaman on board, he was asleep in the bunk above me. I got 25 Silver and a new tube of horn polish out of the deal. I'll give it to PdP.

8:30 AM - Reported for duty at SI:7.

8:55 AM - finally found my liaison. He had fallen asleep in stealth mode. It takes forever to get assignments because I can never find these damned rogues. Maybe I'll retrain. Or I could shovel dirt with that guy behind Staghelm's tree.

9:15 AM - Went to pick up new leather bracers. Ugg, they came in dark blue. I ordered them in Black. Had to send them back.

9:30 AM - Headed into Elwynn Forest. I stopped by the crazy cat lady's place. I bought a lovely Cornish Rex for 19 Silver and an Apple I pinched from the bowl on the table. Yay, I still have some $ for dinner tonight.

9:40 AM - I found a piece of string and played with the cat for 20 minutes.

10:00 AM - OMG I have to be at Sentinel Hill in 30 minutes. /sprint

10:00:30 AM - /out of breath. OK Sprinting is not going to get me there. I forgot I have a mount now. /facepalm. /mount up and ride in style.

10:10 AM - Border check at Westfall. A couple of Militia guys on a power trip were giving me the third degree. They wanted to know what a Night Elf was doing all the way out there in Westfall. They didn't believe me when I said I was there on SI:7 business, which was none of their's. Little one tried to frisk me. I sapped his buddy and gave him a kidney shot to remember me by. I made 11 silver between the two of them, and a new hat. I don't particularly like the hat, but I wasn't going to let them keep it.

10:29 AM - Got to Sentinel Hill, reported to Stoutmantle

10:55 AM - Stoutmantle still babbling on. What a windbag.

11:30 AM - Dismissed from briefing. Off to rendezvous with informant.
Turns out that he is a Defias turned traitor. I'm hesitant to trust this d-bag. He expects me to protect him as he parades through town on the way to their headquarters. Why couldn't he just draw me a frickin map so I could get there myself.

12:30 PM - Arrived at Insertion point. Its a dumpy shack in a dumpy town. There is a secret tunnel that leads to a mine shaft. Dammit, I'm goin to get dirty.

12:45 PM - Arrived at Forcefield protecting underground lair. Green swirly forcefield. Not sure how to penetrate. Will contemplate over lunch

12:46 - 13:15 - Tuna Sandwich. Yumm. So good with Dalaran Swiss on Mulgore Spice Bread. Thank you Guard McGowan. (I pinched his lunch from the Stormwind Guard's kitchen near Stockades)

13:16 - Penetrated Green Swirly Forcefield. Jumping through it seemed to work.

14:00 - Observed substantial workforce extracting copper and tin ore. Nobody wearing shirts. O_o Wtf? May as well be a gay steel mill.

14:15 - Enormous Ogre Sentry by the name of Hamhock. Jackpot! an easy mark. I picked a deck of Ore nudey cards off him. I had to go into his loincloth to do it...yuck. Apparently rumors about Ogres not true, this guy was hung like a Blood-elf. Poor bugger.

14:28 - Goblin work force, just outside a foundry. These buggers have a mech-suit. I so want one. Eliminated 1st target: Sneed. Couldn't drive the damn mech suit though.

16:00 - loong tunnels in this base. Might be working some over-time on this one. Cha-ching.

16:10 - Infiltrated underground marina. Bunch of pirates working in an underground shipyard. Must be lousy pirates if they can't even steal a ship, and have to build their own. Have they thought about how to get the giant ships through the tiny cave entrance? I have my doubts.

16:12 - Confirmed. Lousy pirates. None of them say yarr, no eye patches, and they let their parrots do half the fighting for them.

16:20 - Target eliminated: Mr. Smite. Apparently I was tougher than he thought, he even took the time to tell me so between getting back-stabbed, kidney shotted and garroted. Tall bugger, I had to jump to get his kidneys. Picked up a bottle of old milk, and another tube of horn polish. PdP's lucky day.

16:25 - Boarded enemy vessel. Their cook is a bloody murlock! Got a rolling pin out of him. Bags are filling up, not a bad haul.

16:45 - Third target eliminated. Ed Van Cleef. I left the pack of Ogre nudey cards out on the deck. His body guards were well distracted. They didn't notice when I took down their boss. Head sliced off nice and quick on account he had a pencil neck. I even managed to save his shirt from getting too bloodied up. It fit nicely, a little tight around the boobs. (/wink). I even found a brand new deck of Ogre nudie cards on him. Score!

17:00 - Out the back door, and right on time! Brewfest, Here we come!

17:20 - Turned in quest at Westfall. They are starting to like me over there.

17:35 - Snuck out on debriefing - Stoutmantle is such a windbag.

18:00 - Pinched dinner out of the guard's kitchen in Stormwind. Looks like fish, but tastes like chicken. Thank you Guard McGowan.

18:10 - Waiting for Gal at Blue Recluse for 10 minutes now.

18:15 - Just got word...Gal is grounded. Someone has been a naughty DK! I can't wait to hear the story.

18:20 - Hittin the tram to Tinkertown. Picked up some Fireworks and a couple of Gnomish toys (sly wink)

18:30 - Arrival at Brewfest. To be continued

Brewfest: When the tank gets tanked

What happens when the tank gets tanked?

She convinces 2 of her friends that its a good idea to fly out to Shatrath, and see how high they can fly, and then drop without plummeting to their death.
It doesn't hurt that the friends are dwarves, they are always up for doing dumb stuff if theres booze involved.
Btw, it turns out 65 yards is about the magic number :-)
/hugs friends
I love Brewfest
<3 Hio

Pally Confessions: Brewfest


Greetings Reader,

PaulaDaPally here. I'm writing to confess for my actions at this years Brewfest. I'll try to keep it short, but a lot of stuff happened that I need to get off my breastplate. I'm a little embarrassed to talk about some of them, so please bear with me. (I blame Coren Direbrew by the way. If I hadn't fought that loud-mouthed midget, none of this would have happened.) In fact, it might be better we take a trip back in time to Tuesday night, and you can see it all first-hand. Then you can judge me. (That was a pally pun btw).
Cue Gnomish time travel machine
/swirly Vortex
"PdP, please help us. We MUST enter the depths of Blackrock Spire to defeat the Heinous Coren Direbrew and stop his plans to destroy Brewfest...Hic"
These were the cries of my guildmate Kitrine.
I knew of Brewfest, some of my Dwarven brethren spoke of it while we trained in the Order. While we Paladins don't oppose celebrations like Brewfest, we don't actively condone it. We have no such celebrations on my home world, so I have little personal investment in "Brewfest". The thought of being excited about a festival celebrating tube shaped mystery meat, and smelly drinks just seems alien to me. (That might be because I'm an Alien to this world, I don't know. I'm sure Ennyo just loves it, she once told me "I love sausage "). Kitrine, my long-time friend and fellow Draenei needs my help. And I'm not going to say no to her. Nor would I turn down a good fight. /flex.
We travelled to Blackrock Mountain. Kerstyn, a powerful human Mage and another guildmate, had explored here before and knew her way around the depths of the mountain. We were accompanied by Tharley, a Death-Knight and Moondream the druid. Our goal was to infiltrate the inn at the bottom of the mountain, rendezvous with a Dwarven spy, and put an end to the plot against Brewfest. It seemed simple enough, and would give me lots of time to work on gaining favor with the Argent Tournament afterwards.
The fight went well enough. His gang of Dark-Iron dwarves fought as best they could. Coren had a few tricks up his sleeve but he was quickly dispatched. I took a few knicks and scuffs to the plate, but a little work and some spit and polish will make them look nearly new again. I took a few hard shots and I'll have a few bruises, but nothing to be concerned about. (Although... My hoof..does this look cracked to you?) I earned a couple of trinkets which made the trip well worth the trouble. My Shaman friend Kitrine received the reins to an enormous Kodo. At the end of the fight, Direbrew dropped a cask of ale. I was impelled to take this back to the organizer of Brewfest. Something in my psyche was telling me, ! Take this back to the Brewfest organizer !. Kerstyn conjured a portal to Ironforge so we could quickly leave the small, dimly lit chamber full of dwarves smelling of old beer and sausage of the Grim Guzzler, to arrive at a huge dimly lit city full of dwarves smelling of older beer and smellier sausage. I was tiring of Brewfest, and I'd only just arrived.
The journey from Ironforge to the small town of Kharanos is very short. And its downhill, which makes for an even quicker trip. I don't know how those dwarves can tolerate the cold though. Its no wonder my Dwarven comrades are so...whats the word? I don't know... But they have to be to live in a place like Dun Morogh. I found the Brewfest Organizer (a Gnomish sounding name, its unpronounceable to my Draenei tongue) who thanked me profusely. He gave me some gold, and some tokens, and a voucher to redeem a souvenir mug. It would have been rude to refuse him, so I thanked him and took a couple steps back. I was starting to get cold. And my stomach had still not settled from the teleportation to the Dwarf capital. The Brewfest organizer watched me, waiting for me to go and get my souvenir mug.
"Go and get something to eat", he said. "For goodness sake Lass, find something to melt the ice off your horns".
We both laughed at this, and he turned to greet the other Brewfest patrons. There was music and laughing, a real sense of fun. It seemed worthwhile to poke around a bit, and I was already in a better mood now that I was out of Ironforge. I headed off to redeem my tokens.
"I've been given this to exchange for a mug. Can you help me?" I asked a woman near one of the booths. She was a human, with a lovely smile. It turns out she was a bread vendor. "I'm afraid I can't, but here, try one of these pretzels". It was delicious, but very salty. It settled my stomach, which was great, but it made me very thirsty.
I stumbled forward. A dwarf had crashed into my back, his head crashing into my shield lain across my back. "Sorry Lass, I was just admiring yer tail. Here, have one of these, on the house." With that, he thrust a stein of ale into my hand and went off to crash into the bosom of my friend Kitrine. Kit just laughed at this, but Kerstyn was quite offended. She slapped the dwarf, hard across the face, and told him to watch it or he would spend the rest of Brewfest as a sheep. The Dwarf apologized profusely and headed in the opposite direction at a very hurried pace. I passed my drink over to Kerstyn, saying she could use it more than I. She thanked me, and quickly downed the sample. Her cheeks flushed red, and a smile crossed her lips. "Mmmm, thats really good".
Encouraged by this, I went over to a vendor to get another.
"Which would you like? There is Barleybrew clear, for those of ye watching yer weight. I have..." and he carried on with all the different kinds of Barleybrews there were. So I bought one of each. The Dwarf liked this.
Now, the Barleybrew clear was quite nice. It wasn't as strong tasting as I'd expected, and the taste wasn't overpowering. I tried the other of the brews, and found they were quite to my liking. And they made me feel great. Its like all my cares in the world were just stored away in an extra Gigantique Sack. It also made me realize I was hungry. I looked for Kerstyn, to ask if she could conjure me up something to eat. But neither she nor Kitrine were anywhere to be found.
I walked around Brewfest, looking for my friends. Vendors would thrust drinks at me, and food into my hand. I bumped into the organizer again, who asked me how I was enjoying myself. He seemed heartened by my souvenir mug, still half full of some Ogre concoction.
"Oooh, Mudders milk. You do have exotic tastes. Have you tried..." and he went on to list about 10 different kinds of beers.
Apparently I had sampled all the drinks at Brewfest. He was so happy, he thrust more tickets in my hand.
"And what about the Golden Links? and..." and he listed a number of different sausages. I had tried all of them and I didn't dislike them as much as I thought I would.
"What about the Spiced Onion cheese?"
I hadn't.
"Well come on then dear". He grabbed me by the arm and took me over to a lonely cheese vendor. I sampled some of her cheese, and the organizer cheered and thrust more tickets into my hands".
I was quite happy that he was so excited for me, but I didn't have a clue about what to do with all these tickets. He walked me over to another booth. I hadn't noticed them before because they were surrounded by a throng of Brewfest revelers. I looked at the merchandise. Souvenir hats, dresses. Brewfest tunics. I wasn't impressed with the clothing (Its hard to find a hat that will fit over my beautiful horns) but I thought the Brew of the Month club sounded interesting. I'd taken quite a liking to beer after all the samples I'd tried. But I didn't have enough tokens. I turned to the organizer and asked him what I should do. He took me aside.
"Now Listen ere Lass, I can't be givin ye the tickets to buy the brew of the month membership, as much as I'd like to, or I'd have to give em to everyone. But I could use yer help with a few things. Ye see those wolpertingers runnin around?"
/confused. I had no idea what a wolpertinger was, but I had begun to notice winged rabbits with antlers running amok.
"Aye, those be Wolpertingers. Please help me catch a few. And while you're at it..."
He gave me a list of things to do, the first of which was to catch some of these Wolpertingers running all over Brewfest. He had given me a net. Thank the light for that net because those little Wolpertingers are fast. Cute as all get-out, but fast. I rounded up five of them, and headed down the hill towards the ram racing.
Now I'm revered by the dwarves, but I'll be darned if they let me ride one of their rams. I've got several great steeds from Stormwind, and I pride myself on the tigers and sabers from Darnassus. I've got a mist-saber I ride as my choice mount when I'm not flying. Heck, I've even got a Bronze Drake, of the brood of Nozdormu, from the time I fought some guy in Stratholme for a gnome named Chromie. But will they let me ride one of their goats? no. So I was pretty excited when they offered me the opportunity to ride one of their fastest rams to pick up some casks of ale. An apprentice handed me the reins, made sure I could ride at a trot, a canter and a gallop, thrust more tickets in my hand and sent me off to Kharanos to get more brew. I asked how many, and he said "as many as you can get, but they need it fast".
And with that I was off. I'd never ridden anything so fast. All it takes to keep those yaks happy is a firm hand and a lot of apples. Its a wonder they didn't send me for more apples, my ram was going through them faster than Brewfest was going through beer. I ran back and forth between the Brewmaster in Kharanos and the tent where I started things off. I brought back about a dozen or so casks before my ram called it quits. It seems that while these dwarven mounts are great sprinters, their talents would be wasted on long cross-country trips.
With my heart still pounding from the thrill of riding the racing ram (faster than any ground mount I've ridden, even with my crusader aura to hasten the pace) I headed back up the hill to Brewfest. I could hear the wolpertingers in my bag starting to get restless, and it seemed cruel to keep them in there any longer than I had to. I arrived back at Brewfest and started to hand them to the organizer one by one. I reached into my bag to grab the last of Wolpertingers, thankful to liberate them from the inside of my inventory bags. My stomach clenches at the things I've stored in those bags. Heads (The most recent being a Plunderer from Utgarde Keep), Talbuk poo, cave mould (which is actually delicious by the way), the list goes on and on. I've seen Hio keep food in her bags, alongside the heads and dirty ore and plants she picks up, which really grosses me out. But she normally eats in bear form so I don't think she much minds the taste of anything, nor the smell. I felt a tickle on my fingertips as I groped around inside the bag, looking for the last Wolpertinger. It felt like a soft bristly brush, the way Purp's tongue does when he licks you. (Purps is Mightykiwi's Frostsaber, a ferocious animal to fight beside, and a fantastically soft belly to rub when he lets you). The Wolpertinger was licking my fingertips. I finally got a good grasp on it and pulled it out of my bag. It was cooing and squeaking. It was quite possibly the cutest thing I'd seen since One-eyed Willy. (Ennyo says she has seen many one-eyed willies and wouldn't call any of them cute. I don't know what she means). How was I going to give this up to the Brewfest Organizer. It turns out I didn't have to, he noticed how taken I was with it, and let me keep it. I thanked him profusely. He asked how many tokens I had, and if I could sign up for the Brew of the Month Club yet. I counted, and answered "not enough".
He pulled me aside. In a hushed voice "Don't fret Lass. Here's what you can do. I can tell you're well travelled. I could use a strong hand at the smaller Brewfest celebrations going on at the other cities. Would you mind stopping over, and just checking up that all is well?"
I promptly agreed and headed over towards the gates of Ironforge, intending to take the tram to Stormwind. As I headed towards the hill, the earth began to shake beneath my boots. At first I thought it might have been Idora or Kitrine, showing off with their great Earth Elemental. I'd felt this sensation before, and I'm always awe-struck by the Elemental that the Earth force sends to their aid when they ask. Shaman forces are powerful, not unlike the light, and I commend them for it. But this was nothing of the sort, because a great rumbling sound came with it. Great drilling machines came from under the ground, and Dark-Iron dwarves spilled out of them. It appears we had not thwarted their plans after all, because the Dark-Iron dwarves were headed straight towards the kegs. One of the smaller, Brewfest Dwarves (might have been a gnome, it was hard to tell), drunk out of his mind and twice as furious, hurled his empty beer mug at one of the Dark-Irons. Immense laughter erupted when it struck his target (what allegedly was his target) right in the head, and knocked him cold to the ground. Immediately, ales were being downed and hurled at the party-crashers. There were a lot of Dark-Iron dwarves, but I don't think any of them got near the kegs. It went on a while. By the time it ended, the ground was littered with empty ale steins and unconscious dwarves. (Most were Dark-Iron, but some were Bronzebeards who'd had too much to drink. And I had hit at least a dozen of them myself. That's a lot of beer, really fast it turns out. The Brewfest Organizer thanked everyone, and everyone got extra tickets for repelling the iDark-Irons. I was starting to feel a bit less care free, and a bit more spinny. It was time to head to Stormwind.
I stepped onto the road and started to summon my favourite Mist-saber. I was nearly run over by a drunken dwarf riding one of the Brewfest racing rams. He was barking about Barleybrew this and that. I summoned my Black War Mammoth. If there were more of these drunken barkers, I'd prefer that they be the ones to get run over, not I. Mammoth seems to do that trick. And it felt a bit safer, on account of the spins. Mind you its a farther fall, but I installed seat-belts when I got him. I mounted ole Mr. Smite (I named my mammoth Mr. Smite, on account the two look quite alike) and chased after that drunken barker. I chased him from the bank to the mystic ward, through the military ward. It was pretty much all around Ironforge, I chased after him, yelling at him. He never did stop, or even look back. I gave up by the time we got to Tinker town, and left the chase to the proper authorities. I entered the Deeprun Tram. I was exhausted by this point. Everything was taking a very counter-clockwise turn. I lay down on one of the benches, hoping it would help the spins subside. I wasn't out more than twenty minutes, I'm sure of it. I woke up on the floor. Apparently I had rolled off the bench, and onto the cold, dirty ground. Normally I wouldn't mind, but the ground in the Deeprun tram is sticky and gross. I woke to a gnome stroking my hair. he was muttering something about his sprocket being totally sprung, and asking if I wanted to see the seaforium charge in his pants. I doubt that he could fit an entire seaforium charge in his pants, and I found his behaviour to be odd. I stepped past him intending to board the tram. He grabbed my tail and tried to swallow the whole darn thing. He was muttering to himself, and his eyes were rolling around in his head like he was possessed. He was foaming at the mouth. His hips were gyrating like he was spinning a hula hoop. I swatted him away and ran to the tram before it left. I'm never comfortable with the way the gnomes in the Deeprun Tram look at me. (Ennyo mentioned she met a tripod there once and loved it, but I don't know what she means. I've never met anyone with 3 legs, but I guess it would be kind of neat to see). I looked back at the gnome, who was waving at me. He had a big smile on his face, but I could see he had wet himself. Poor soul, I'm sure he was just upset about all those troggs taking over Gnomeregon. But that smile didn't seem right. It was a relief when the tram sped into the tunnel and I was alone, and headed to Stormwind.
I arrived at the other end of the Tram. I began the incantation to summon Mr. Smite, but I messed it up and got my purple Ellek. He looked upset because I hadn't rode him in a long time. I felt guilty, so I climbed aboard. He was slow, but happy to be out of the stables. I even tied a carrot to a string to entice him, but if it made a difference, it was not noticeable. He grumbled when I applied my Crusader Aura, so I let him have his way and just loped through the city at a very casual pace. I was happy enough just to be out of that tram and away from that creepy gnome. I checked with one of the Stormwind Guards, who directed me outside the city walls, to check on the Stormwind Brewfest celebration. It wasn't nearly as busy as the Ironforge festival. To my amazement, it was being over-run by pink Elleks. In Elwynn! /boggle.
I rode around, trying to corral a few, but with no luck. I was a little upset when my purple ellek tried to climb on top of one of the females. I dismissed him, and rummaged through my bags. I found one of the Gnomish devices that the Brewfest organizer gave me. I dispatched a few of the pink Elleks. I'd never seen one before, not even back on Draenor. I found more of the same near Darnassus, and outside the Exodar. I didn't spend much time in Darnassus, they aren't as friendly to Paladins as the other cities. They like me well enough, but I feel a bit like an outsider. I didn't spend too much on Azuremyst because I wasn't in the mood for a lecture from Prophet Velen. He is a nice enough guy, but I always feel a little weird around him.
Part of the nice thing about overseeing the different brewfests was drinking more beer. I like beer a lot. I don't particularly like sausage, especially not as much as Ennyo does, but I like beer. It was time to report back to Brewfest in Ironforge again, and to sign up for the Brew of the Month club. Not wanting to go back through that tram, I decided to use my hearthstone. I set my heart to Dalaran because its a beautiful city. Its so high up, and the towers are so tall, its just so full of light. I love Dalaran, despite all the magic there. And there is a lot of magic in Dalaran. It turns out I had muttered the wrong thing when I used my hearthstone, because I ended up in the sewers, instead of the inn near the bank and the forge.
Yuck. I hate the sewers in Dalaran, they are like a maze. Needless to say, I took a wrong turn, and instead of surfacing, I ended up at the exit pipe. Tired, and feeling a bit spinny, I sat down. A troll fellow, also apparently lost, came over and sat down beside me. He muttered something to me. I don't know what he was saying, but he repeated it again and again. I reached into my bags and pulled out some of my brewfest beers. He drank them, apparently happy with the offering. He tossed me a black bag, and turned and left. I opened the bag, and a ghostly skull floated out of it. It floated above my head. It was not as cute as my new Wolpertinger pet. I put the skull back, and brought out my Wolpertinger to share in the view. He chittered and squeaked at me, and promptly jumped off the side of the pipe.
I was not expecting this, and I don't think he expected a fall of hundreds of feet. I leaped out after him. I caught up with him and held him, we were far too close to the ground, and far too far from Dalaran than I would have liked to be. Apparently those little Wolpertinger wings are not for flying. Thank goodness for bubble. Wolpertinger thanked me too, and then crawled back into his bag. I don't think he likes the sewers in Dalaran anymore than I do, but I know he doesn't like flying. I think I was quite sobered up by my near death experience, because I wasn't feeling like I was before the jump. It turns out (I learned this after discussions with Hio later) that I was completely smashed (which is a term for drunk). I summoned my bronze drake, asked him to take me back up to Dalaran. We arrived at Krasus Landinging, and I headed back to Ironforge through the portal.
Let me tell you that teleportation while being completely smashed is not good for the stomach. There were Dwarves and humans and Elves vomiting all over the place. I ran out of the mystic ward and headed for the gates of Ironforge, just to get away from all the wretching and the awful smells. I got to Brwfest, and tracked down the Brewfest Organizer. I told him about the pink Elleks, and the fall from the sewers. He was rolling on the ground laughing. I didn't tell him about the gnome in the tram, although I'm sure he would have laughed at that too. (I told my friend Kiwi about it, and she nearly threw a disc out in her back from laughing so hard. She is a dwarf, and so had grown up knowing about the tram. She mentioned something about the gnome, and getting off a rock. She was laughing too hard, I didn't really understand her). I got more tickets for all my troubles, a thank you, and an invitation to come back to do it again the next day. I thanked the Organizer, and headed back to Ironforge. By the time I got to the gate, I was more exhausted than I had been after any battle in recent memory. I inspected the guards at the gates. The seemed trustworthy, and sober. I tucked my tail safely between my legs, lay down, and went to sleep outside the gates of the city. It was cold, but the air was fresh, and it felt good. The beds at the inn are too short anyway, my horns scrape the walls and my hooves hang over the end of the bed.

Rowgue gets a ride


I was so excited about the tabard thing thatI forgot to mention that Rowgue finally got her ride. It's been an exciting start to Brewfest already :-)
<3 Hio

Tabard? We don't need no stinkin tabard!


Hooray! Good news Internetters.
Tonight I finished my reputation grind with the Ebon Blade. What does this mean? NO MORE TABARDS! Finally I can show off some of that gear I've been working on forever! I could wear my competitors tabard, or my Cenarion tabard, or my guild tabard, or my Fire festival tabard. Or I could wear no tabard at all. Its nice to have choice again. Weeeeeeee!
/Happy bear
<3 Hio

Yarrrr! Happy Talk Like a Pirate day, Ye Scurvy Mongrel.



Avast Mateys,

Talk like a Pirate day is upon us. Have fun, and be 'ware a those lookin to plunder yer booty.

Lariss tames a pet, Part 4


Hi Internetz,
Thanks for coming back. I was just tellin the story of me and Trek. If you missed it, you can catch it from the beginning.
When I last talked (you just read it, I did all the work. Thanks for nothing) we just met Fluffy Wuffi... err Trek outside of the Night Elf port town. Now that we had a super pet in a fashionable black, it was time to carry on with the rest of our adventure.
What I really wanted to know was...Where do those boats go. From my vantage point near the road, I could see a great long dock, with all kinds of ship activity. This curious hunter needed to know where those boats were going. So Trek and I made a plan.
Realistically, I did all the thinking. Trek just rolled around on the ground. It turns out she loves tummy rubs. Its soooo soft under there, so I don't mind. It just didn't seem as ferocious as I'd expected. But we had a spirit bond, I knew what she was capable of. (Frankly its a little scary). And what goes on with a hunter and her pet is none of your business, unless you happen to be staring down the barrel of my gun with my cat chewing on your ass. Then you better make it your business. Got it? good, I thought you might.
The plan was for Trek to chase 2 of the Night Elf guards, and distract them while I snuck up onto the dock, and ran onto one of the crates to be loaded onto the ship. I had to explain it to her 3 times, because she is a cat and she isn't used to planning anything. But once we were on the same page, Trek executed it perfectly.
She prowled up behind one of the unsuspecting guards. It was a woman. Almost all of the Night Elf guards were Purple women. (Their asses are huge btw). Trek leaped onto her and raked her claws across her back. The weight of the pounce and the unexpected attack threw the Purple Elf guard to the ground. I'm sure Trek would have been able to bite through her neck, but she knew that she was needed elsewhere. The other guards rushed to their comrades aid, and soon there were 5 or 6 of these guards chasing my companion. They were no match for her speed. As they chased her through the village, I ran up onto the dock, and headed towards the biggest ship. It had just been loaded with the last bit of cargo and was about to set sail. I whistled the signal and Trek sped up the dock towards me, with her purple pursuers in tow. I'd owe her a good long belly rub once this was all over.
She made it onto the boat as we were puling away. Luckily it was a merchant crew and they weren't about to pick a fight with me and my giant cat who had managed to evade a dozen of the town guards. They weren't particularly happy to have us aboard though, and we got many dirty looks. the trip took a long time. Like, forever. Trek was vigilant, making sure no harm came to either of us during the trip. One of the crew, (the biggest. he was blue, and had horns and hooves. looked like a cross between a goat and some great blue elf) stared at me a lot during the trip. I think he was checking me out. Pervy blue hoofy horny guy. Trek's hackles would raise whenever he came close to our corner of the deck.
My stomach sank when I saw where we were headed. A great port, the walls of the fortified city gleamed white in the sunshine. I think some of the crew sensed my unease because they started talking amongst themselves, laughing while they looked at me. It might also be because I had gotten sea sick 3 times during the night and was not looking my normal fabulous self. Whatever.
The ship pulled into port. We were met by two armed guards. Their Plate armour, gleaming and polished, looked quite daunting. Except for the stupid little things in the top of their helmets, those just looked silly. We stepped on the dock,and they promptly ran us both through, and that's all I remember of the city.
One of the great things about being me is that I have a very different sense of mortality than you do. I don't really "die" like you do. Ha ha.
I came to in a graveyard. The great walls of the city were visible in the distance, but there were no guards near. I whistled for Trek, but she didn't appear. I began the incantation to bring her back from the spirit world. Its a draining spell, but I'm skilled enough that I can recover from it quickly. The strength of the bond between Trek and me helps to recover even quicker. Once we were nourished and rested up, we resumed our journey. I headed away from the great walled city.
It was a long frickin walk.
We walked through boring orchard and farm land. We reached the mountains, and headed south, away from the red rocks and creepy red spiders. Ugg, I hate tarantulas. We headed into spooky dark woods. There were Howls in the distance and I got a sense that even the bushes and trees were watching us. It felt like we were being stalked by something just out of sight. Trek was very uneasy, which didn't help. We ran at the sound of voices. There were guards patrolling the roads, and they would give chase at the sight of us. We didn't get caught, but we were chased up a hill onto the ledge of a great ravine. I began to look for an escape route, but our pursuer (looked like a short fat High Elf who had had most of his ears chewed off) turned around and ran away twice as fast as the speed at which he gave chase when he recognized where were.
I didn't like the ravine. It was cold, and dirty. It was getting late and we were running out of daylight. Dark, with dead trees and traces of old campfires here and there. The screeches of carrion birds in the not too far distance were motivation enough for us to keep travelling. We passed by a few large stones, it looked as though they had drawings of huge fat Elves with horns on their heads. I've since been told by an Orc friend, that these were ogres. We didn't see any Ogres on our trek, but I did catch glimpse of a huge black bird circling nearby. We turned tail before it could reach us, I'm sure it would have made lunch out of both Trek and me if there had been more light for it to see us by.
As we descended out of the hills, the landscape turned greener. It became warmer, humid, and the ground had turned very swampy. We came across an Orc patrol. She directed us to her camp, a place she called Stonard. It seemed like a long trip from the dark ravine to Stonard, and the campfires were a welcome sight. We found the local inn and slept for the night.
When I woke in the morning, Trek was sitting at the foot of my bed. Her growling told me she was not happy. My bags were opened, its contents strewn about the room. The chewed leather sheath of my claymore told me that Trek was hungry. Ugg. No Kitty thats a BAD Kitty!
We purchased food from the innkeeper, and headed out to see Stonard in the day. I liked it more by night. It made Orgrimmar look beautiful by comparison. If Orgrimmar is a hole, Stonard is a pit toilet. What is with those Orcs? don't they know what a real city looks like? Haven't they been to Silvermoon? It was still better than Undercity mind you. I found the flightmaster. My next destination was a town called Ironforge. The conversation went something like this.
Me: "I would like to purchase a flight to Ironforge".
Orc Flightmaster: Blank stare. /pick nose.
Me: "DWARF CITY!"
Orc Flightmaster: kek
Me: " Expletive, Expletive, bleepity bleep Expletive. IRONFORGE"
Orc Flightmaster: quizzical look. (easy to recognize by now). "You can't get there from here.
Me: /sigh. "Why the F**K not?"
Orc Flightmaster: "You don't know any flight paths connected to this one".
Me: /flips bird and hearths back to Orgrimmar.

Lariss tames a pet, Part 3


K. So it turns out, there is this orb thingy in Silvermoon and I can use it to go to this place called Undercity. I don't like the Undercity. It smells like a sewer. Its full of NASTY! Undead. I saw Sylvannas Windrunner while I was there. She grew up with my mom. She was hot, and gross at the same time. I was so conflicted. Her sister Vereesa is so much hotter.
Ugg. Undercity.
Anyway, turns out if I click the orb thingy, I get teleported way far, and I totally skip those nasty plaguelands. phew. I wish I knew that before I passed through the green swirly thingy.
Oh, and btw, teleportation sucks. Bring a barf bag. I totally hurled when I got to Undercity. And it was all over some Tauren's boots. He was totally pissed. He was talking about how he spent 60 badges on his boots, and was about to rip me a new one. Then he stopped when he saw my green leather hauberk, and just kinda started acting all taureny. (by taureny, I mean pervy tauren. They just stand there all quiet, pretending not to be staring down your shirt. ugg). I apologized again, and disengaged as fast as possible. I found the flight master and asked him to take me to Darnassus.
He said, "you can't go there".
"Fine". I asked, "where can you take me?"
He said "You don't know any flight paths connected to this one".
"Do you?" I asked him. I was gettin kinda peeved. I knew he had to know where to send me, since people pay him to send them to different places. Its his frickin job. "I mean, seriously. Just give your dirty bat some big ugly maggots, take my 25 silver, and send me on my way".
I think he got a little ticked off with me because then he wouldn't even talk to me after that.
I had to get out of Undercity. The smell was like an orc sitting on my face. Just blech. I ran out, and I saw a blimp thingy. Turns out they are called "zeppelins". I got on the first one that arrived.
It was a looooong frickin trip. It took me to a place called "Grom Gol". Those aren't even words, so I figured I didn't want to be here. The beaches did look nice though.
The next blimpy thing landed in Orgrimmar. OMG what a hole of a capital city. The roads are dirt. Its dark. It smelled better than Undercity though, so I set my hearth to Orgrimmar.
A quick conversation with a couple of guards, and I was on my way. It went something like this.
me: "Which way to Darnassus?"
Orc guard: quizical look. (I know he didn't understand because he looked even dumber than before I asked the question).
me: "Where...Me...Go...togoto...Darnassus"
Orc guard: lolz lolz lolz. point up the road.
me: "Thank you"
Orc guard: quizical look. /pick nose.

So I'm on the road to Darnassus. Yay. Along the way I saw hyenas (smelly, noisy, not a pet for me thanks), Scorpions (umm, ick), Raptors (we've gone over that) and Lions.
I thought "hmmm, how bout a lion?"
No. They are the colour of dirt. Anything I wear would be accented by this drab, dirt coloured animal. no, a lion waould not be for me.
/continue down the road.
Getting past Splintertree Post. The trees here are really really big. Its kinda spooky. /trot.

I got to a river there were some signs along the way. I couldn't read them, but I figure I was headed the right way. There was a town on the other side of the river. It looked quite pretty. But I could tell that there would be people in it that wouldn't be too friendly, I'd never seen buildings like these. I went into the woods and around the town. Its a good thing, because as I came back out of the woods, and onto the road, I was spotted by a guard.
/flee.
A HUGE purple guy started chasing me. OMG he was yummy. I wanted to jump his bones right there. Except he wanted to kill me so I just ran away. Once he stopped chasing me I stopped running. I turned back and started walking back to town. Not all the way. Just a little closer. And I carved my name and number into a tree in case he happened to be walking that way. Better safe than sorry.
/continue on towards Darnassus.
So I'm pretty much level 12 now because I've been running and running forever. Or at least since Orgrimmar. I ran and ran under spooky trees. I was chased by wolves and spiders and more purple people. I crossed another river. I was starting to get really tired. I had stopped to fish for a bit cause I was gettin hungry. And I was also getting really really excited.
As I followed up the road, I began to see the silhouette of buildings on the horizon. They were the same style as the ones I saw in Ashenvale. This town looked a bit bigger. And it was a port town, so I could tell that it would be guarded with more mean purple studs. I mean Night Elves. Time to rethink.
/hungry
I sat down with my back to a stump and I made a sandwich out of the hunk of tough bread and strider meat I had in my bags. I was off the road, it seemed like a safe place to stop to eat. I was almost done when I heard a deep, deep growl coming from the other side of the stump behind me.
/almost pee my pants in fear.
I turned around and stared into the most magnificent yellow eyes I'd ever seen. Growling at me from the other side of the stump, was a black tiger with subtle silver stripes. I think the smell of the strider is what brought her over, but she was hungry. And she could eat me.
I backed away a few steps and tossed the remnants of my sandwich at the beast. She Roared a guttural sound that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and my ribs shake in my chest. I'm sure she could even hear my heartbeat and taste the blood flowing through my veins. The tension was thick enough to cut with a dagger. The cat sniffed at what I tossed in front of her. Distracted for the moment, I took my chance. I began the incantation to charm the cat. She resisted as hard as she could, but the magic was powerful. I'd almost lost focus during the spell, but it was a success.
I welcomed my new companion with a fresh sagefish I had kept for just the occasion. She was happy to accept the fish, and I was happy to get it out of my bags.
I named the cat Fluffy wuffikins and she hissed at me, very menacingly. I never called her Fluffy Wuffikins again. Kitty's name is Trek, and she is a good kitty.
Continue

Lariss tames a pet, Part 2

K. So now that the worst part of the story is out of the way, I can talk about my way fabulous pets, Saga and trek. (Ugg, I hate the names, but whatever. Sometimes I feel like I'm just an avatar).
So I scanned pretty much all of the courtyard of Farstrider Retreat for any fabulous tameable pets nearby. There were 2 other hunters nearby, and they both had red Lynxes. We ruled that out. So I went back to Silvermoon to ask around.
I saw a troll hunter with a pretty orange tiger. And by pretty, I mean, pretty hard to match with anything. No thanks. I went into the Inn. The dude asked me for my ID (he was totally checking me out. blech. pervy tauren). I sat down beside a couple of Orcs. I asked them what they thought.
One said "Raptors. Cunning and fast. Ferocious, Draeneii will fear you!"
Umm, They are all scaley, and I hate purple. so no raptors for me thanks.
The other Orc was like "blah blah blah boar blah".
Umm, I'm not gonna tame a pig. If I wanted a pig, I'd go to a farm. No self respecting hunter is going to tame a pig. mmm k bai!
There was a grizzled tauren in the corner. He only had one eye, and I could see that he wasn't using the other one to check me out. He had to be at least 80 seasons. I thought, it won't hurt to ask.
It turns out that this tauren was a druid. He talked about his battles, his fiercest foes. He told me that the closest he had ever been to death was in combat with another Elf. Not a High Elf, like me, but a purple Elf, from the other side of the world. They rode huge cats, and were fierce in battle. It really piqued my curiousity. These elves sound hot. I thanked him, and left because his one good eye started to stare at my boobs and he started to make some weird grunty sounds. (Pervy tauren)
There were a few other suggestions from other folks at the bar. I didn't find anything that was really right, so I went online to http://www.maniasarcania.com/. I don't know why I didn't do that to begin with.
Anyway, having decided what pet would be perfect, I headed out on my own personal quest. I ran through the streets of Silvermoon. I headed out the gates towards the Ghostlands. This was not my final destination though. I was headed much farther.
I got through the Ghostlands. I saw like a million Nasty! Undead! along the way. There is a creepy little town called "Tranquillien". OMG creepy. I kept on the road until I got to some glowing green bubble thingy. It was weird, but whatever. I went through.
K, on the other side of this green bubble thingy, is this place called the Eastern Plaguelands. ICKY! turns out that bubble keeps all kinds of nasty undead thingys away. There were huge fat maggots. Gigantic Flying Bats. Legions of NASTY! undead zombies. And from miles and miles, they all ran towards me. Everywhere I looked, gross thingys came to eat me.
Turns out I'm not supposed to go to these Plaguelands. (I figured it out after 30 minutes of running around as a ghost). So I went back to Silvermoon to work out Plan B.
Continue

Lariss tames a pet

Hi Internetz. Lariss here. I'm here to talk about what its like to be a hunter, and how I got my pets.
So I'm level 8 or 9 or something, and the hunter trainer (I forget his name, all those rangers all look the same to me) sent me on a quest. I'm on my way to finally get a pet. OMG it feels like it took forever.
I was all psyched up to get a pet. So he hands me a stick and says "go get a Lynx". /sigh. Umm, they would go okay with my hair, but I was wearing this fantastic green leather Hauberk (really shows off the girls. I totally caught some Tauren checking me out. As if) and a lynx would not go with my hauberk. Whatever. I went and got one, and he gave me money, so it was ok. But then things started to get a weird.
He hands me a differnet stick and he's like: "bring me a Dragonhawk".
OMG I nearly burst out laughing. What kind of hunter tames a dragonhawk? Then I noticed the long blonde hair, and the tight pants. I'm pretty sure I saw him checking out the Silver Knight dude (who was totally yummy btw) so I kinda figured that maybe this ranger guy just might prefer swordplay over, umm, girls. So I didn't ask any questions, I just went and got a rainbow coloured, spazzy flying, scary as a fluffy bunny dragonhawk. The wing flapping totally messed up my hair, so I won't be doing that again anytime soon.
For the third quest, and the final one, I was soo excited. I was expecting to get the most ferocious, terrifying beast that would answer only to me. And I would love it and hug it and squeeze it and call it my very own. And he hands me anothe stick and asks me to go "get a bat".
WTF?
They eat like worms and stuff. They stink. They poo everywhere. Ever try to get a bat to do anything during the day? no, cause you never ever see a bat during the day. They are NOCTURNAL! Omg dumbass. I tried to tell him so, but there was this troll that walked by with a banana in his pants, and the questy guy didn't hear a word I said. Ugg. Whatever.
I ran past all the icky spiders. I tried to avoid all the dirty rabies infected animals. I saw some undead guys by the road. OMG Nasty! Undead! /shudder. I crept into this dark dirty hole. I found a long stick, and I poked around til a bat flew out. I tamed it and brought it back to questy guy. The dirty bat ate like 3 rats, 2 worms, and 6 spiders along the way. Ugg.
I finally got back to Ranger Joe or whatever to turn my quest in. He was still a little too tight in the pants, (the troll guy had only just left). But at least he was paying attention to me. He cast his little spell, did his little dance and I finally learned how to tame a pet to keep on my very own (well, for more than 5 minutes anyway). I was like level 50 by the end of all this. Well, level 10, but it felt like it took longer.
I'm hungry. I'm going to get a sandwich. You stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Continue

Lets meet Lariss


Hi Internetz
This is Lariss. A Bloodelf hunter. Gorgeous isn't she? Yup. I know.

Unfortunately, Lariss is more beauty than brains. She loves her pets. Everyone knows how important pets are to a hunter. But does everyone know how important it is to have pets that match ones outfiit? You probably didn't think of that, did you? Thats what I thought.
There are two colours that will accessorize very well with any colour of outfit. Do you know what they are? Black and White. Ever try matching a green leather hauberk with a red lynx? Barf. gag me with a traffic light.
So we need to find a white pet for Lariss, and a black one, so as not to be caught in an unfashionable situation. What is there in the Ghostlands? Bats and Spiders. umm, no thanks. We want a cat to rip shit up, and a bear to feed it to. So its time for an adventure. You don't want to miss this one :-)

If you don't know Alamo, then you don't know Durids

One of my favourite druid material of all time is from Alamo the durid.
Alamo, a level 80 tauren druid from the Thunderhorn server, had grown in notoriety for a post he made titled "Alamo teechs u 2 play DURID!" on the official WoW druid boards. The topic itself is filled with poorly edited MSpaint images, horrible spelling, and humor reflecting it. However, in interviews with Alamo's player as shown below, it was meant to be a parody due to the fact that he does grasp the English language. His topic has given way to an interesting catchphrase, while not of the magnitude of Leeroy Jenkins, "Cat Durid is 4 fite!" <---from wiki
If you don't know Alamo, you don't know Druids. Go to http://www.wowwiki.com/Alamo and follow the links.
Go Now!

How many Druids?

Hio is level 80. She is Alliance on Staghelm

Roflmeow Alliance side and Roflmeow Horde side are different druids.

Why did I name two very different toons the same?

1) To confuse you, dear internetz reader
2) Because there is a lot more to this story that I haven't told you yet. (cue evil laugh)

A whole new World


So, I've finally rolled Horde.
Sticking with the Druid theme, I joined a rl friend of mine on Earthen Ring. I just happen to have an in with the biggest guild in North America, so I decided to take it. What a different experience. My thoughts so far.
AIE is huge. And its awesome. Some of the in game events that the officers have put together have been incredibe. An in-game memorial of a guildie that passed away included hundreds of AIE'rs marching through all the cities, and ended with a tribute from some that knew him, and from his close friends. It was very touching.
Guild chat is nuts. Having conversations in Guild chat are like trying to follow a dialogue in trade chat. Except its not full of morons, so its actually quite fun.
There is a feeling of anonymity there, but the general attitude of friendliness and the great attitudes of the members make AIE a special group. I'm happy with my decision. I'm just not happy to have to reroll from level 1 again. Oy.

Roflmeow dinged 50 last night!

She was turning in quests at Thorium Point. Other than the achievement, it was rather uneventful because she had to go to bed right away. Still, only 8 levels to go til Outlands :-)

Furbs and the A-team


One of the things my druid friend Lassaria would always talk about was "The Burning Crusade" expansion. I only took WoW up a couple months prior to the launch of BC so I didn't share the enthusiasm. However, I was hooked by then so I bought BC the day it launched, standing in line with all the other folks at 11:30 PM.
New races! New Zones! All kinds of stuff I'll never experience until I gain another 40 levels anyway.
Now I'd never even stepped foot in Dun Morogh. I'd been to Stormwind via the long trek through Menethil, but there was a lot of Vanilla I was still missing out on back then. But nonetheless, I was excited about BC.
I spent the time installing and patching and what-have-you. I went to the character creation screen and checked out the shiney new Space goats. I had no inclination to roll a hunter nor Shaman. Priest? no way. I tried a paladin and gave up after 2 levels. I tried a warrior. I liked the warrior.
I chose the name Fjurdyn. She was stacked...Huuuuuuge tracts of land (if you don't know what that means, I'm saying I chose her for the ample breastplate she could equip).
When you are a low level warrior, you hit stuff and it dies. You can kill lots of stuff in the first 10 levels and you never ever have to worry about dying, or really even doing any kind of first aid. Gift of the Naaru was enough to heal me when I was in danger. Being a low level space goat warrior was good.
Its that way til about level 20 something, where you just hack your way through everything. It doesn't really change until you have to go to Redridge and do the Drunken Gauntlet of Fun quest that warriors get. OMG that was awesome. Once you get that second and third stance, things get complicated in the Warrior world.
We ( I mean Fjurdyn and I) levelled through Azuremyst and Bloodmyst, and then went to Redridge and then to Duskwood. I was so enjoying hacking everything that she had actually surpassed Hiordis in levels. While questing in Duskwood, I bumped into a Shaman named Idora and a mage named Sinlana. Idora was sooooo much fun, she really opened WoW as a fun social experience. The three of us would quest together, and we would kill things like Worgen and walking Skeletons. And we would go into the catacombs of Duskwood and we would kill zombies and we had fun. And Morladim, who was level 35 elite at the time, would come and kill us, and we would all talk about how we wanted to kill him soo much.
Idora (Iddy) sooo bubbly and always making jokes. She made Wow fun. Sinlana was a little quieter, but still fun. She seemed a little more newbish. These were my first wow friends. If Idora or Sinlana were on, we would play together, and it was fun. We went through Duskwood together, then STV. We went through Tanaris together, Ungoro. For the most part we leveled at the same pace and were within a few levels of eachother. I was never ever really sure, but I finally confirmed that Sinlana was a guy playing a female toon just like me; it only took me 15 levels to figure it out.
Neither of them would ever spell Fjurdyn right, so in the end I was called Furby. The nickname stuck, and was shortened to Furbs. Fjurdyn is still at level 75 because I find levelling a warrior to be a painful experience.
We added a 4th amigo named Thourne when we were in STV. He left us in the early 50s so he could play with his cousin on a pvp server. He is back now, and we are better for it. In our late 30s and early 40s we added a warlock named Stregone. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about Stregs because he wasn't as chatty as the rest of the crew, but warmed up to him after a while. Turns out that Stregs is the definition of a great guy, and always willing to help out with anything. In Tanaris, we added the Mightykiwi, hunter extraordinaire. OMG <3.

Ennyo and Pa'alla


Growing up on Draenor with her sister Pa'alla, Ennyo is the older of the two girls. They were witness to the siege of Shattrath by the Orcs, masterminded by the Burning Legion. Both grew up wishing to serve the light and avenge the slaughter of their parents. They came with the Exodar when it carashed into Azeroth. Both Draenei were studying to become paladins. While Pa'alla hoped to serve the light, Ennyo wished to use it to destroy the demons responsible for the destruction of their home world. Ennyo was unable to wield the light as capably as Pa'alla. She grew bitter and resentful towards Pa'alla when She was taken into service as a Paladin and Ennyo was denied. Her rage and jealousy grew so strong that the light left her altogether.
Ashamed at her failed attempt to become a Paladin, but still intent on avenging the losses suffered, she became a warrior. Using the skills she learned in her training, and gaining skill and strength as her lessons progressed, she became skilled in both the art of protection and in deadly melee combat. Fueled by the shame of her perceived failure, Ennyo became notorious for the fury with which she fought. She was nicknamed Fjurdyn by one of her warrior trainers. This is an ancient word that roughly transates to wrathful, or furious in battle.
Fjurdyn is the one who coined the nickname Pa'alladapally as a term of contempt and mockery. PdP kept this name to spite her jealous sister, and as a personal reminder to stay strong, regardless of where attacks against her may come from.

Iowyn


Iowyn is beautiful and powerful, but in very different ways than Pauladapally. She is agile and has incredible grace. She can't be called anti-social, but she prefers solitude, or spending time with her life companion (some might call her a pet), Myfriendwii.
Iowyn is a seasoned veteran of several campaigns. She's lent her hand to the battles for resources in Arathi, and in the fight for Alterac Valley. She started out in service of the Silverwing Sentinels. Her dream was to serve as a sentinel and watch over Darnassus, but responsibilities to her sister Hiordis kept her from joining. Iowyn is trained as a beast master hunter, in part because of her strong bond with her companion myfriendwii. Growing up with and taking care of her sister Hiordis, a Feral by nature, had a strong influence on Iowyn's training in beastmastery.

Playing the Paladin

The other half of my dynamic hybrid duo. Pauladapally has a unique name, I've looked and have not found another Pauladapally on any realm. I've debated making one on every server to make sure it stays that way. We will see.
Shortened to PdP (I don't like being called Paula for short for some reason), I levelled PdP for several reasons. Growing up in BC, every group and their dog had a Paladin Tank. They were by far, the best tank to take into an instance. So it seemed. I love PdP. She is powerful and beautiful and you are lucky if you ever get to group with her.
Pdp leveled as a retribution paladin, which is by far the best way to level. She switched to prot once she got to 70, and keeps a prot/ret talent build. Retribution is a lot of fun to play, and is hard to screw up. Not impossible, but difficult.
I feel it takes a special kind of player to level a paladin, and getting one to end game is like a badge of honor. The first 40 levels are so are spent auto-attacking and judging every 10 seconds. I think leveling a paladin is like watching a bad movie that has potential to get so much better. I pretty much leveled with the following attack sequence:
Cast Seal of... and then Judge seal of... Auto attack. Consecrate (if you have the mana).Auto attack.
Cast Seal of ... and then Judge Seal of...
Back in my day, seals were consumed with every judgment. This was extended with much fanfare to last 2 minutes before the seal expired, and then was changed to last the 30 minutes that it does now. Why can't pally blessings last 30 minutes like every other class? I dunno. Paladins have always been a special lot. Like I said, getting a pally to 80 is a badge of honor.

Hiordis and her First 10 Levels...Memoirs of a noob


When I first played World of Warcraft, it was because I got talking to a friend from work. She had a level 60 resto dru (this is pre BC). She told me about being a druid, about how she could turn into a bear, or a cat, and could harness the power of the moon to do her arcane bidding. And she told me that she could ride a giant tiger. I was hooked. She was why I rolled a druid.
I sat at the character creation screen. It asked me for a name. One of the hardest things in WoW sometimes is to come up with a name. I flipped through my copies of Tolkien books looking for a good Elven name. I searched through norse names. In the end, I settled on Hiordis, which I found out meant "warrior mother" or something like it. I didn't like the Night Elf hair colours, nor the hair cuts at the time. I'm still not crazy about the choices at the character creation screen, however I'm thrilled with the choices in the barber shop. Still, WTB MOAR COLOURS! I went with white and a functional short cut that came just above the shoulders. I was set. I had a name, I had a character. I was set to conquer Azeroth.

As all Night Elves, I started my journey in Teldrassil, killing helpless harmless pigs and cats threatening to overrun the forest. This was fine, til I found the cave in the North part of the newbie zone.Those damned spiders in the cave were scary, Especially when they respawned on top of me. Green Hairy Venom spewing beasts! Yikes!
I didn't have enough bag space for all my quest items, and I didn't know that I should sell all those broken fangs and ruined pelts for money so I can buy things like "refreshing spring water". I hated that cave in Teldrassil, and I still hate the green tarantula skin.
I remember killing grelkin, and finding they dropped money. OMG! Some of these things are dropping 3 copper at a time. I'm just going to kill these things til I'm rich!
I don't know why I didn't level til 10 with all the grelkin I killed. Probably because I was doing it wrong. It did seem like that it took forever to get those 4 lint balls or whatever it is that dryad wanted me to get from them for my quest.

It sure seemed like it was a lot of running to get from the big tree, to the cave, back to the moonwell, going to get all the lilies. Back into the cave (OMG not the spiders again). I wasn't exposed to any mmorpgs prior to WoW, and in retrospect, it really showed. I would get grey items like "mouldy mail boots" and keep them in my bag in hopes I could equip them, and wonder why I was told "You can not equip that item".

I should mention that I remember buying white gear from the vendors because they had more armor. I didn't know what Stamina, or intellect was, nor what use they were to me. But the whites looked neat and they got me more armor. Yay. Just what a newb caster needs..more armor for when Iam being chewed on by mobs because newb caster couldn't afford to train entangling roots because all the money was spent on vendor sold whites with no stats. Not to mention I wouldn't know how to use roots anyway. Moonfire spam? Yes puhlease!

Those furbolgs in Starbreeze village were really vicious. And when you didn't yet realize that there was a "pat" that could sneak up on you while you were being chewed on by his friends, then it could indeed be a scary place. (I didn't learn what a patrol was until a BC dungeon, and even then I had to ask who Pat was. /facepalm)

I learned tailoring and skinning as professions. I didn't level any tailoring skills til I was in my low teens because I didn't know how to work professions. I don't know how I figured skinning out on my own. Possibly because of the bright red text saying "YOU NEED A SKINNING KNIFE. HOP ON THE SHORT BUS AND GO GET ONE! And would you mind licking the windows clean while you do that? Thanks!" that would show up every time I right clicked on a dead animal with "skinnable" written under its corpse name.
Don't get me started on how long it took to figure out you have to train to get past 75 skill. Duskwood seems right

When I turned 10 I went to Moonglade and got the quest to use the moondust on the moonstone to summon the moonkin to go back to moonglade to get my moonbear form.
Except when I was in Moonglade, I didn't know how to get back home. I swam across the lake. I went all the way down to the bottom of the barrow den, and got lost. I found the flight path* on the other side of moonglade that didn't connect with anything. What a stupid place to put a fp btw. Across the lake? come on! I found the furbolg tunnel. Those nasty timbermaw! Nasty! Furbolg!
So I was a level 10, trying to get back to Auberdine so I could continue my ascent into end game. I saw a walking bear. I thought "thats cool". Then he ran towards me, growling. Then I was dead.
I thought...this time, i'll wait for him to pass, and sneak around him. (I didn't know that I'd have an aggro range the size of Azshara). I got up to the tunnel this time before he killed me. I didn't learn til much later that the tunnel would be chock full of Nasty! Furbolgs! anyway.


I don't remember where the graveyard in Moonglade was/is (seriously, who dies in Moonglade, except for once a year when you have to kill that stupid big dog), but I know I got stuck in the mountains a few times trying to get back to my corpse. Mountaineering in Vanilla Wow was not impossible, but it took practice and thought and a mount. I was a level 10 wisp with about 3 hours of /played time. I think after the 4th time I was butchered by those Nasty! Furbolg! I just hearthed. I still want to get to that troll village some time before the cataclysm. /sigh
*Note: I didn't discover the free flight path to Ru'uthe'er'ra'an'n Village until I was about twenty something.
I didn't get my bear form until I was 13.
I remember meeting Fandral Staghelm. I thought, "Hey cool, he has the same name as my server".
What a douche. He's all "I'm so important. I pace back and forth in my tree fort. And you aren't allowed in my tree fort! Go bring me some dirt! I'm a jerk" Blah blah blah. If horde are ever raiding Darnassus, I go and /cheer while I watch them kill that guy. But don't even think about gettin close to Velen or Bronzebeard! Man I don't like Fandral Staghelm.

When RL and WoW collide...in my head

Is it sad that I compare things like my daughter getting teeth to when Iowyn, my hunter graduated from leather to mail? Or her slow crawling being akin to getting travel from when I dinged 30 on Hio?
(Yes I said 30! I've been playing for a while, and back then, travel form came at 30, and you didn't get the 60% mount until you dinged 40. It made Stranglethorn Vale a wonderful pita, one that I avoided as much as I could once I learned about placed like Arathi, Southshore, and any other place than STV. Oh, and back then, Dustwallow had no goblin town, nor haunting spirits. it was just a marsh full of spiders and alligators. There was even less reason to go to Dustwallow then than there is now).
Is it weird that I think I can go fishing and catch fish within 15 seconds of my cast? That I have no inclination to even make lunch for myself between running heroics, However I'll spend 30 minutes fishing so I can have enough dragonfin filet for the food buff?
These thoughts tell me I love WoW too much. Ask my wife what she thinks of my fickle Azerothian mistress, but watch out for the venom spray (Unless you happen to have a cleansing totem put down already). But she puts up with it because she loves me and knows that I love her. but I also love WoW. Thank the light for my wife :-)

Sometimes I say We

I often use the term We. I'm referring to me and my character. We are very different beings, sharing an adventure. Using I just doesn't seem right when talking about WoW exploits.

In the Beginning

In the Beginning...there was an empty blog. And Furbs siad "Let there be words". But nothing happened. So he typed them himself and grumbled about it.
First Post. What to write here?
I plan to use this blog to track some of my exploits in Azeroth, And sometimes, some real life content (heretofore known as RL) should creep in once in a while. So here we go.
One of the things I've been really focusing on as of late is balancing WoW and RL. My daughter just turned 1 last week. Needless to say its been an eventful last couple years for me. I met Kate in 2004 and we pretty much clicked right away. And not in a right-click left-click PC kind of way. I mean in a Mac one button does it all quite intuitively kind of way. We were living together in 2005, engaged in 2006, married in 2007, had our daughter in 2008, and have been together 5 years as of 2009. At first glance, this seems like a linear progression. (Much like leveling to 80 does when a newb sits at the character creation screen after watching his level 80 buddy melt face on all those level 2 kobolds in Northshire Valley with beautiful pyroblasts and bouncing arcane novas of death). However, in looking back, this has been anything but linear. Gear resets, new stats, expansions have all become commonplace in both RL and in WoW.