K. So it turns out, there is this orb thingy in Silvermoon and I can use it to go to this place called Undercity. I don't like the Undercity. It smells like a sewer. Its full of NASTY! Undead. I saw Sylvannas Windrunner while I was there. She grew up with my mom. She was hot, and gross at the same time. I was so conflicted. Her sister Vereesa is so much hotter.
Ugg. Undercity.
Anyway, turns out if I click the orb thingy, I get teleported way far, and I totally skip those nasty plaguelands. phew. I wish I knew that before I passed through the green swirly thingy.
Oh, and btw, teleportation sucks. Bring a barf bag. I totally hurled when I got to Undercity. And it was all over some Tauren's boots. He was totally pissed. He was talking about how he spent 60 badges on his boots, and was about to rip me a new one. Then he stopped when he saw my green leather hauberk, and just kinda started acting all taureny. (by taureny, I mean pervy tauren. They just stand there all quiet, pretending not to be staring down your shirt. ugg). I apologized again, and disengaged as fast as possible. I found the flight master and asked him to take me to Darnassus.
He said, "you can't go there".
"Fine". I asked, "where can you take me?"
He said "You don't know any flight paths connected to this one".
"Do you?" I asked him. I was gettin kinda peeved. I knew he had to know where to send me, since people pay him to send them to different places. Its his frickin job. "I mean, seriously. Just give your dirty bat some big ugly maggots, take my 25 silver, and send me on my way".
I think he got a little ticked off with me because then he wouldn't even talk to me after that.
I had to get out of Undercity. The smell was like an orc sitting on my face. Just blech. I ran out, and I saw a blimp thingy. Turns out they are called "zeppelins". I got on the first one that arrived.
It was a looooong frickin trip. It took me to a place called "Grom Gol". Those aren't even words, so I figured I didn't want to be here. The beaches did look nice though.
The next blimpy thing landed in Orgrimmar. OMG what a hole of a capital city. The roads are dirt. Its dark. It smelled better than Undercity though, so I set my hearth to Orgrimmar.
A quick conversation with a couple of guards, and I was on my way. It went something like this.
me: "Which way to Darnassus?"
Orc guard: quizical look. (I know he didn't understand because he looked even dumber than before I asked the question).
me: "Where...Me...Go...togoto...Darnassus"
Orc guard: lolz lolz lolz. point up the road.
me: "Thank you"
Orc guard: quizical look. /pick nose.
So I'm on the road to Darnassus. Yay. Along the way I saw hyenas (smelly, noisy, not a pet for me thanks), Scorpions (umm, ick), Raptors (we've gone over that) and Lions.
I thought "hmmm, how bout a lion?"
No. They are the colour of dirt. Anything I wear would be accented by this drab, dirt coloured animal. no, a lion waould not be for me.
/continue down the road.
Getting past Splintertree Post. The trees here are really really big. Its kinda spooky. /trot.
I got to a river there were some signs along the way. I couldn't read them, but I figure I was headed the right way. There was a town on the other side of the river. It looked quite pretty. But I could tell that there would be people in it that wouldn't be too friendly, I'd never seen buildings like these. I went into the woods and around the town. Its a good thing, because as I came back out of the woods, and onto the road, I was spotted by a guard.
/flee.
A HUGE purple guy started chasing me. OMG he was yummy. I wanted to jump his bones right there. Except he wanted to kill me so I just ran away. Once he stopped chasing me I stopped running. I turned back and started walking back to town. Not all the way. Just a little closer. And I carved my name and number into a tree in case he happened to be walking that way. Better safe than sorry.
/continue on towards Darnassus.
So I'm pretty much level 12 now because I've been running and running forever. Or at least since Orgrimmar. I ran and ran under spooky trees. I was chased by wolves and spiders and more purple people. I crossed another river. I was starting to get really tired. I had stopped to fish for a bit cause I was gettin hungry. And I was also getting really really excited.
As I followed up the road, I began to see the silhouette of buildings on the horizon. They were the same style as the ones I saw in Ashenvale. This town looked a bit bigger. And it was a port town, so I could tell that it would be guarded with more mean purple studs. I mean Night Elves. Time to rethink.
/hungry
I sat down with my back to a stump and I made a sandwich out of the hunk of tough bread and strider meat I had in my bags. I was off the road, it seemed like a safe place to stop to eat. I was almost done when I heard a deep, deep growl coming from the other side of the stump behind me.
/almost pee my pants in fear.
I turned around and stared into the most magnificent yellow eyes I'd ever seen. Growling at me from the other side of the stump, was a black tiger with subtle silver stripes. I think the smell of the strider is what brought her over, but she was hungry. And she could eat me.
I backed away a few steps and tossed the remnants of my sandwich at the beast. She Roared a guttural sound that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and my ribs shake in my chest. I'm sure she could even hear my heartbeat and taste the blood flowing through my veins. The tension was thick enough to cut with a dagger. The cat sniffed at what I tossed in front of her. Distracted for the moment, I took my chance. I began the incantation to charm the cat. She resisted as hard as she could, but the magic was powerful. I'd almost lost focus during the spell, but it was a success.
I welcomed my new companion with a fresh sagefish I had kept for just the occasion. She was happy to accept the fish, and I was happy to get it out of my bags.
I named the cat Fluffy wuffikins and she hissed at me, very menacingly. I never called her Fluffy Wuffikins again. Kitty's name is Trek, and she is a good kitty.
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