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Avast Mateys,

Talk like a Pirate day is upon us. Have fun, and be 'ware a those lookin to plunder yer booty.

Lariss tames a pet, Part 4

Hi Internetz,
Thanks for coming back. I was just tellin the story of me and Trek. If you missed it, you can catch it from the beginning.
When I last talked (you just read it, I did all the work. Thanks for nothing) we just met Fluffy Wuffi... err Trek outside of the Night Elf port town. Now that we had a super pet in a fashionable black, it was time to carry on with the rest of our adventure.
What I really wanted to know was...Where do those boats go. From my vantage point near the road, I could see a great long dock, with all kinds of ship activity. This curious hunter needed to know where those boats were going. So Trek and I made a plan.
Realistically, I did all the thinking. Trek just rolled around on the ground. It turns out she loves tummy rubs. Its soooo soft under there, so I don't mind. It just didn't seem as ferocious as I'd expected. But we had a spirit bond, I knew what she was capable of. (Frankly its a little scary). And what goes on with a hunter and her pet is none of your business, unless you happen to be staring down the barrel of my gun with my cat chewing on your ass. Then you better make it your business. Got it? good, I thought you might.
The plan was for Trek to chase 2 of the Night Elf guards, and distract them while I snuck up onto the dock, and ran onto one of the crates to be loaded onto the ship. I had to explain it to her 3 times, because she is a cat and she isn't used to planning anything. But once we were on the same page, Trek executed it perfectly.
She prowled up behind one of the unsuspecting guards. It was a woman. Almost all of the Night Elf guards were Purple women. (Their asses are huge btw). Trek leaped onto her and raked her claws across her back. The weight of the pounce and the unexpected attack threw the Purple Elf guard to the ground. I'm sure Trek would have been able to bite through her neck, but she knew that she was needed elsewhere. The other guards rushed to their comrades aid, and soon there were 5 or 6 of these guards chasing my companion. They were no match for her speed. As they chased her through the village, I ran up onto the dock, and headed towards the biggest ship. It had just been loaded with the last bit of cargo and was about to set sail. I whistled the signal and Trek sped up the dock towards me, with her purple pursuers in tow. I'd owe her a good long belly rub once this was all over.
She made it onto the boat as we were puling away. Luckily it was a merchant crew and they weren't about to pick a fight with me and my giant cat who had managed to evade a dozen of the town guards. They weren't particularly happy to have us aboard though, and we got many dirty looks. the trip took a long time. Like, forever. Trek was vigilant, making sure no harm came to either of us during the trip. One of the crew, (the biggest. he was blue, and had horns and hooves. looked like a cross between a goat and some great blue elf) stared at me a lot during the trip. I think he was checking me out. Pervy blue hoofy horny guy. Trek's hackles would raise whenever he came close to our corner of the deck.
My stomach sank when I saw where we were headed. A great port, the walls of the fortified city gleamed white in the sunshine. I think some of the crew sensed my unease because they started talking amongst themselves, laughing while they looked at me. It might also be because I had gotten sea sick 3 times during the night and was not looking my normal fabulous self. Whatever.
The ship pulled into port. We were met by two armed guards. Their Plate armour, gleaming and polished, looked quite daunting. Except for the stupid little things in the top of their helmets, those just looked silly. We stepped on the dock,and they promptly ran us both through, and that's all I remember of the city.
One of the great things about being me is that I have a very different sense of mortality than you do. I don't really "die" like you do. Ha ha.
I came to in a graveyard. The great walls of the city were visible in the distance, but there were no guards near. I whistled for Trek, but she didn't appear. I began the incantation to bring her back from the spirit world. Its a draining spell, but I'm skilled enough that I can recover from it quickly. The strength of the bond between Trek and me helps to recover even quicker. Once we were nourished and rested up, we resumed our journey. I headed away from the great walled city.
It was a long frickin walk.
We walked through boring orchard and farm land. We reached the mountains, and headed south, away from the red rocks and creepy red spiders. Ugg, I hate tarantulas. We headed into spooky dark woods. There were Howls in the distance and I got a sense that even the bushes and trees were watching us. It felt like we were being stalked by something just out of sight. Trek was very uneasy, which didn't help. We ran at the sound of voices. There were guards patrolling the roads, and they would give chase at the sight of us. We didn't get caught, but we were chased up a hill onto the ledge of a great ravine. I began to look for an escape route, but our pursuer (looked like a short fat High Elf who had had most of his ears chewed off) turned around and ran away twice as fast as the speed at which he gave chase when he recognized where were.
I didn't like the ravine. It was cold, and dirty. It was getting late and we were running out of daylight. Dark, with dead trees and traces of old campfires here and there. The screeches of carrion birds in the not too far distance were motivation enough for us to keep travelling. We passed by a few large stones, it looked as though they had drawings of huge fat Elves with horns on their heads. I've since been told by an Orc friend, that these were ogres. We didn't see any Ogres on our trek, but I did catch glimpse of a huge black bird circling nearby. We turned tail before it could reach us, I'm sure it would have made lunch out of both Trek and me if there had been more light for it to see us by.
As we descended out of the hills, the landscape turned greener. It became warmer, humid, and the ground had turned very swampy. We came across an Orc patrol. She directed us to her camp, a place she called Stonard. It seemed like a long trip from the dark ravine to Stonard, and the campfires were a welcome sight. We found the local inn and slept for the night.
When I woke in the morning, Trek was sitting at the foot of my bed. Her growling told me she was not happy. My bags were opened, its contents strewn about the room. The chewed leather sheath of my claymore told me that Trek was hungry. Ugg. No Kitty thats a BAD Kitty!
We purchased food from the innkeeper, and headed out to see Stonard in the day. I liked it more by night. It made Orgrimmar look beautiful by comparison. If Orgrimmar is a hole, Stonard is a pit toilet. What is with those Orcs? don't they know what a real city looks like? Haven't they been to Silvermoon? It was still better than Undercity mind you. I found the flightmaster. My next destination was a town called Ironforge. The conversation went something like this.
Me: "I would like to purchase a flight to Ironforge".
Orc Flightmaster: Blank stare. /pick nose.
Me: "DWARF CITY!"
Orc Flightmaster: kek
Me: " Expletive, Expletive, bleepity bleep Expletive. IRONFORGE"
Orc Flightmaster: quizzical look. (easy to recognize by now). "You can't get there from here.
Me: /sigh. "Why the F**K not?"
Orc Flightmaster: "You don't know any flight paths connected to this one".
Me: /flips bird and hearths back to Orgrimmar.

Lariss tames a pet, Part 3

K. So it turns out, there is this orb thingy in Silvermoon and I can use it to go to this place called Undercity. I don't like the Undercity. It smells like a sewer. Its full of NASTY! Undead. I saw Sylvannas Windrunner while I was there. She grew up with my mom. She was hot, and gross at the same time. I was so conflicted. Her sister Vereesa is so much hotter.
Ugg. Undercity.
Anyway, turns out if I click the orb thingy, I get teleported way far, and I totally skip those nasty plaguelands. phew. I wish I knew that before I passed through the green swirly thingy.
Oh, and btw, teleportation sucks. Bring a barf bag. I totally hurled when I got to Undercity. And it was all over some Tauren's boots. He was totally pissed. He was talking about how he spent 60 badges on his boots, and was about to rip me a new one. Then he stopped when he saw my green leather hauberk, and just kinda started acting all taureny. (by taureny, I mean pervy tauren. They just stand there all quiet, pretending not to be staring down your shirt. ugg). I apologized again, and disengaged as fast as possible. I found the flight master and asked him to take me to Darnassus.
He said, "you can't go there".
"Fine". I asked, "where can you take me?"
He said "You don't know any flight paths connected to this one".
"Do you?" I asked him. I was gettin kinda peeved. I knew he had to know where to send me, since people pay him to send them to different places. Its his frickin job. "I mean, seriously. Just give your dirty bat some big ugly maggots, take my 25 silver, and send me on my way".
I think he got a little ticked off with me because then he wouldn't even talk to me after that.
I had to get out of Undercity. The smell was like an orc sitting on my face. Just blech. I ran out, and I saw a blimp thingy. Turns out they are called "zeppelins". I got on the first one that arrived.
It was a looooong frickin trip. It took me to a place called "Grom Gol". Those aren't even words, so I figured I didn't want to be here. The beaches did look nice though.
The next blimpy thing landed in Orgrimmar. OMG what a hole of a capital city. The roads are dirt. Its dark. It smelled better than Undercity though, so I set my hearth to Orgrimmar.
A quick conversation with a couple of guards, and I was on my way. It went something like this.
me: "Which way to Darnassus?"
Orc guard: quizical look. (I know he didn't understand because he looked even dumber than before I asked the question).
me: "Where...Me...Go...togoto...Darnassus"
Orc guard: lolz lolz lolz. point up the road.
me: "Thank you"
Orc guard: quizical look. /pick nose.

So I'm on the road to Darnassus. Yay. Along the way I saw hyenas (smelly, noisy, not a pet for me thanks), Scorpions (umm, ick), Raptors (we've gone over that) and Lions.
I thought "hmmm, how bout a lion?"
No. They are the colour of dirt. Anything I wear would be accented by this drab, dirt coloured animal. no, a lion waould not be for me.
/continue down the road.
Getting past Splintertree Post. The trees here are really really big. Its kinda spooky. /trot.

I got to a river there were some signs along the way. I couldn't read them, but I figure I was headed the right way. There was a town on the other side of the river. It looked quite pretty. But I could tell that there would be people in it that wouldn't be too friendly, I'd never seen buildings like these. I went into the woods and around the town. Its a good thing, because as I came back out of the woods, and onto the road, I was spotted by a guard.
/flee.
A HUGE purple guy started chasing me. OMG he was yummy. I wanted to jump his bones right there. Except he wanted to kill me so I just ran away. Once he stopped chasing me I stopped running. I turned back and started walking back to town. Not all the way. Just a little closer. And I carved my name and number into a tree in case he happened to be walking that way. Better safe than sorry.
/continue on towards Darnassus.
So I'm pretty much level 12 now because I've been running and running forever. Or at least since Orgrimmar. I ran and ran under spooky trees. I was chased by wolves and spiders and more purple people. I crossed another river. I was starting to get really tired. I had stopped to fish for a bit cause I was gettin hungry. And I was also getting really really excited.
As I followed up the road, I began to see the silhouette of buildings on the horizon. They were the same style as the ones I saw in Ashenvale. This town looked a bit bigger. And it was a port town, so I could tell that it would be guarded with more mean purple studs. I mean Night Elves. Time to rethink.
/hungry
I sat down with my back to a stump and I made a sandwich out of the hunk of tough bread and strider meat I had in my bags. I was off the road, it seemed like a safe place to stop to eat. I was almost done when I heard a deep, deep growl coming from the other side of the stump behind me.
/almost pee my pants in fear.
I turned around and stared into the most magnificent yellow eyes I'd ever seen. Growling at me from the other side of the stump, was a black tiger with subtle silver stripes. I think the smell of the strider is what brought her over, but she was hungry. And she could eat me.
I backed away a few steps and tossed the remnants of my sandwich at the beast. She Roared a guttural sound that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and my ribs shake in my chest. I'm sure she could even hear my heartbeat and taste the blood flowing through my veins. The tension was thick enough to cut with a dagger. The cat sniffed at what I tossed in front of her. Distracted for the moment, I took my chance. I began the incantation to charm the cat. She resisted as hard as she could, but the magic was powerful. I'd almost lost focus during the spell, but it was a success.
I welcomed my new companion with a fresh sagefish I had kept for just the occasion. She was happy to accept the fish, and I was happy to get it out of my bags.
I named the cat Fluffy wuffikins and she hissed at me, very menacingly. I never called her Fluffy Wuffikins again. Kitty's name is Trek, and she is a good kitty.
Continue

Lariss tames a pet, Part 2

K. So now that the worst part of the story is out of the way, I can talk about my way fabulous pets, Saga and trek. (Ugg, I hate the names, but whatever. Sometimes I feel like I'm just an avatar).
So I scanned pretty much all of the courtyard of Farstrider Retreat for any fabulous tameable pets nearby. There were 2 other hunters nearby, and they both had red Lynxes. We ruled that out. So I went back to Silvermoon to ask around.
I saw a troll hunter with a pretty orange tiger. And by pretty, I mean, pretty hard to match with anything. No thanks. I went into the Inn. The dude asked me for my ID (he was totally checking me out. blech. pervy tauren). I sat down beside a couple of Orcs. I asked them what they thought.
One said "Raptors. Cunning and fast. Ferocious, Draeneii will fear you!"
Umm, They are all scaley, and I hate purple. so no raptors for me thanks.
The other Orc was like "blah blah blah boar blah".
Umm, I'm not gonna tame a pig. If I wanted a pig, I'd go to a farm. No self respecting hunter is going to tame a pig. mmm k bai!
There was a grizzled tauren in the corner. He only had one eye, and I could see that he wasn't using the other one to check me out. He had to be at least 80 seasons. I thought, it won't hurt to ask.
It turns out that this tauren was a druid. He talked about his battles, his fiercest foes. He told me that the closest he had ever been to death was in combat with another Elf. Not a High Elf, like me, but a purple Elf, from the other side of the world. They rode huge cats, and were fierce in battle. It really piqued my curiousity. These elves sound hot. I thanked him, and left because his one good eye started to stare at my boobs and he started to make some weird grunty sounds. (Pervy tauren)
There were a few other suggestions from other folks at the bar. I didn't find anything that was really right, so I went online to http://www.maniasarcania.com/. I don't know why I didn't do that to begin with.
Anyway, having decided what pet would be perfect, I headed out on my own personal quest. I ran through the streets of Silvermoon. I headed out the gates towards the Ghostlands. This was not my final destination though. I was headed much farther.
I got through the Ghostlands. I saw like a million Nasty! Undead! along the way. There is a creepy little town called "Tranquillien". OMG creepy. I kept on the road until I got to some glowing green bubble thingy. It was weird, but whatever. I went through.
K, on the other side of this green bubble thingy, is this place called the Eastern Plaguelands. ICKY! turns out that bubble keeps all kinds of nasty undead thingys away. There were huge fat maggots. Gigantic Flying Bats. Legions of NASTY! undead zombies. And from miles and miles, they all ran towards me. Everywhere I looked, gross thingys came to eat me.
Turns out I'm not supposed to go to these Plaguelands. (I figured it out after 30 minutes of running around as a ghost). So I went back to Silvermoon to work out Plan B.
Continue

Lariss tames a pet

Hi Internetz. Lariss here. I'm here to talk about what its like to be a hunter, and how I got my pets.
So I'm level 8 or 9 or something, and the hunter trainer (I forget his name, all those rangers all look the same to me) sent me on a quest. I'm on my way to finally get a pet. OMG it feels like it took forever.
I was all psyched up to get a pet. So he hands me a stick and says "go get a Lynx". /sigh. Umm, they would go okay with my hair, but I was wearing this fantastic green leather Hauberk (really shows off the girls. I totally caught some Tauren checking me out. As if) and a lynx would not go with my hauberk. Whatever. I went and got one, and he gave me money, so it was ok. But then things started to get a weird.
He hands me a differnet stick and he's like: "bring me a Dragonhawk".
OMG I nearly burst out laughing. What kind of hunter tames a dragonhawk? Then I noticed the long blonde hair, and the tight pants. I'm pretty sure I saw him checking out the Silver Knight dude (who was totally yummy btw) so I kinda figured that maybe this ranger guy just might prefer swordplay over, umm, girls. So I didn't ask any questions, I just went and got a rainbow coloured, spazzy flying, scary as a fluffy bunny dragonhawk. The wing flapping totally messed up my hair, so I won't be doing that again anytime soon.
For the third quest, and the final one, I was soo excited. I was expecting to get the most ferocious, terrifying beast that would answer only to me. And I would love it and hug it and squeeze it and call it my very own. And he hands me anothe stick and asks me to go "get a bat".
WTF?
They eat like worms and stuff. They stink. They poo everywhere. Ever try to get a bat to do anything during the day? no, cause you never ever see a bat during the day. They are NOCTURNAL! Omg dumbass. I tried to tell him so, but there was this troll that walked by with a banana in his pants, and the questy guy didn't hear a word I said. Ugg. Whatever.
I ran past all the icky spiders. I tried to avoid all the dirty rabies infected animals. I saw some undead guys by the road. OMG Nasty! Undead! /shudder. I crept into this dark dirty hole. I found a long stick, and I poked around til a bat flew out. I tamed it and brought it back to questy guy. The dirty bat ate like 3 rats, 2 worms, and 6 spiders along the way. Ugg.
I finally got back to Ranger Joe or whatever to turn my quest in. He was still a little too tight in the pants, (the troll guy had only just left). But at least he was paying attention to me. He cast his little spell, did his little dance and I finally learned how to tame a pet to keep on my very own (well, for more than 5 minutes anyway). I was like level 50 by the end of all this. Well, level 10, but it felt like it took longer.
I'm hungry. I'm going to get a sandwich. You stay here, I'll be back in a while.
Continue

Lets meet Lariss

Hi Internetz
This is Lariss. A Bloodelf hunter. Gorgeous isn't she? Yup. I know.

Unfortunately, Lariss is more beauty than brains. She loves her pets. Everyone knows how important pets are to a hunter. But does everyone know how important it is to have pets that match ones outfiit? You probably didn't think of that, did you? Thats what I thought.
There are two colours that will accessorize very well with any colour of outfit. Do you know what they are? Black and White. Ever try matching a green leather hauberk with a red lynx? Barf. gag me with a traffic light.
So we need to find a white pet for Lariss, and a black one, so as not to be caught in an unfashionable situation. What is there in the Ghostlands? Bats and Spiders. umm, no thanks. We want a cat to rip shit up, and a bear to feed it to. So its time for an adventure. You don't want to miss this one :-)

If you don't know Alamo, then you don't know Durids

One of my favourite druid material of all time is from Alamo the durid.
Alamo, a level 80 tauren druid from the Thunderhorn server, had grown in notoriety for a post he made titled "Alamo teechs u 2 play DURID!" on the official WoW druid boards. The topic itself is filled with poorly edited MSpaint images, horrible spelling, and humor reflecting it. However, in interviews with Alamo's player as shown below, it was meant to be a parody due to the fact that he does grasp the English language. His topic has given way to an interesting catchphrase, while not of the magnitude of Leeroy Jenkins, "Cat Durid is 4 fite!" <---from wiki
If you don't know Alamo, you don't know Druids. Go to http://www.wowwiki.com/Alamo and follow the links.
Go Now!

How many Druids?

Hio is level 80. She is Alliance on Staghelm

Roflmeow Alliance side and Roflmeow Horde side are different druids.

Why did I name two very different toons the same?

1) To confuse you, dear internetz reader
2) Because there is a lot more to this story that I haven't told you yet. (cue evil laugh)

A whole new World

So, I've finally rolled Horde.
Sticking with the Druid theme, I joined a rl friend of mine on Earthen Ring. I just happen to have an in with the biggest guild in North America, so I decided to take it. What a different experience. My thoughts so far.
AIE is huge. And its awesome. Some of the in game events that the officers have put together have been incredibe. An in-game memorial of a guildie that passed away included hundreds of AIE'rs marching through all the cities, and ended with a tribute from some that knew him, and from his close friends. It was very touching.
Guild chat is nuts. Having conversations in Guild chat are like trying to follow a dialogue in trade chat. Except its not full of morons, so its actually quite fun.
There is a feeling of anonymity there, but the general attitude of friendliness and the great attitudes of the members make AIE a special group. I'm happy with my decision. I'm just not happy to have to reroll from level 1 again. Oy.

Roflmeow dinged 50 last night!

She was turning in quests at Thorium Point. Other than the achievement, it was rather uneventful because she had to go to bed right away. Still, only 8 levels to go til Outlands :-)